8.12.2006
explanation
I was talking to mom today, man I love her, and I was telling her how hard but good the last couple weeks have been for me. I have learned a lot about myself and hope that I keep learning. When I got off the phone with mom I read Erin's blog and lost it. I made a comment on Erin's blog today. . . it says "Sister I love you so much! I think I have the worlds greatest examples as sisters, I look up to you, Corinne, and Meagan more than you could ever know, thank you! I wish I could be there with you. I know you have a million people that say that to you but I honestly wish I could drop everythign in my life right now and be with my family. There is nothing in the world that I need more than you, and mom and dad, adrienne, meagan, corinne, sarah, jordan, and chris. I know I took our family granted for a long time and know that you helped me see what this life is all about. Ninny, I know you can do it. I know that it will be a challenge but the Lord will help you rise to that challenge. I miss you!" I guess I just feel like maybe I should explain myself a little further, give some insight into my thoughts. Things in Provo are good. Don't get me wrong, I love it. But the longer I spend away from home the more I realize how much I miss being so close to the people that mean the most to me. It is great getting to know new people and developing new relationships but there is something about knowing that you have 21 family members (okay, 21 including 2 that i haven't met yet) that love you unconditionally. I have been feeling lost, unsure what it is I am doing here, and for some reason remembering that I have family that will support me no matter what really helps. I am so grateful for my famliy. I miss you guys so much. Thank you for putting up with me all the years that I was trying to find myself. I haven't completed that task but I am working on it, there truly is nothing that I want more than to be with my family forever. I love you!
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2 comments:
you are a cute rolo! i am so glad that you are having fun in provo. know that we all miss you but are happy that you are doing your thing. and i can't wait to see you! mary can't wait either. i can tell because she is stretching herself completely sideways and trying to shove her feet through the left side of my abdomen. i'm her movement interpreter. i do love you so!
I just know exactly how you feel. When I was at the U, I would call home on Sunday nights and talk to you all and hear you all in the background laughing and being crazy and my heart would literally feel like it was crushing me, it hurt so bad to be away. I loved the U, I loved being on my own and doing my own things but I had never known how much I needed my family. It's been such a pleasure to watch you grow up and to get to know the adult Lauren. Our times on this beach this summer together were totally priceless for me. I feel like I got to know you for the first time. And I like you. I'd be your friend even if you weren't my sister. That's a great thing, don't you think? I need to wipe away my tears now, thanks very much.
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