the excitement of my life. . . oh wait. . . NOPE!

I honestly think I cry every time I ever read one of my sisters posts, it is so pathetic! At least it isn't a sob, more just a tear or two filling my eye and occasionally slipping out. When I read Erin's email that Jordan (my sister on a mission in the Salt Lake South Mission) got special permission to call Erin & Tom to wish Tom well on his deployment I lost it. I lost it. I cried and I cried. The weird thing was I was not sure why. I called my mom super upset, it was past 10pm her time, and she tried to calm my nerves. She reassured me that there is no place they would rather have me be than back home but she reminded me that I know that I am supposed to be here in Utah. After I hung up with her I was still not feeling up to par and was still a blubbering little baby. I talked to my schristor for a long time and asked her why I do this to myself. Why I CHOSE to be so far from the people that I love. Well, I do know. I know exactly why.

Deciding to move far away from home has taught me how dependent I am on the people who I took for granted growing up. I was not really close to any of my sisters growing up and I always picked on my poor little brother. I am not sure any of them ever knew that I loved them. Well, I hope each and every one of them know how many nights I have cried because i desired so desperately to be in their presence, to laugh with them and share in memories from my childhood. Not only have I learned about the love I have for my family but I have grown 100 x's stronger in the Gospel. My testimony has been strengthened as I go through trials and put my faith to the test. It is amazing how little I know about what I believe, but each day I am striving to learn more. I am learning to be patient. I had an incident with a roomate this week that really tested my patience and taught me how much I love. How much I desire the happiness of others and am willing to put up with a lot to make them happy. I am here to have a social experience that I could have no where else. I get to go to church with my friends, pray at football games & before every class, lean on them for faith in times when I am weak, and have an amazing time.

This weekend has been really fun. I went to the BYU Women's volleyball games both last night and tonight and we dominated both of them. After the game last night Lisa and I went with abou 8 guys from our ward to "Fall Fest". It is a party on campus and it was so fun! There were thousands of people there (no i am not exaggerating). I got my butt out of bed really early this morning to make it to a 8am S.E.T class (strength endurance training). It kicks my tushie every saturday morning but it is an awesome workout and it is kind of fun (if you like that sort of stuff). Anyways, after the game I went over to #1 (a boys apt in the ward) and watched the BYU vs Boston College game. The game was really fun to watch until the second over time when we BOTCHED IT!!!! It was so lame, but still fun. After that I took a nap, then went to a party at my roomates teachers house (she reminded me SOOO much of my sister Corinne I could hardly stand it!) and then went to the volleyball game. In case you were wondering I am currently waiting for Nikki to get home so we can go shop for ingredients to make LOTS OF TREATS for tomorrow night! We have decided to make lots of treats to get people to come over to our place tomorrow after ward prayer to socialize! Good plan? I thought so!

So enough about my life. Sorry it's boring hopefully next time I will have something a little more exciting to say.